(as of 5.5.)
You know, if all the Harry potter fans on tumblr pool their money, we can probably make this happen.
attention passengers this is your pilot speaking, we’re going to be experiencing some heavy turbulence shortly so please strap in. this loser just bet that i couldn’t do a 360 barrel roll in this thing and let’s just say i’m about to be $20 richer real soon
“So you’ve never felt the attraction that comes when someone who is capable of doing terrible things for some reason, cares only about you?”
making eye contact with a hot stranger and knowing you will never see them again
I don’t friend zone people, I relationship zone them. You wanna be my friend? Too bad, we’re dating.
get to know me meme: [2/5] favorite female characters → Fiona Gallagher
"You know what I want? Not to win the lottery or go on vacation to the Caribbean. I want normal people problems. Like, am I getting enough fiber? Why did my friend say that insensitive thing about my weight?"
“You would look so much better if you lost some weight-“
“You would be so much cuter with make up-“
“Make sure you shave or wax way all that body hair-“
“You shouldn’t wear that-“
“You would be beautiful if you just changed how you look-“
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”